October 8, 2026 – Grape Shaming

I can’t explain it, but for some inexplicable reason, random people often approach me and say not-so-nice things they wouldn’t dare say to others. It happens a lot. The most recent time this occurred, the confrontation was over grapes. And there’s no innuendo here, I’m talking about the fruit that grows on a vine, green seedless to be exact.

I’ve had complete strangers (aka trolls) feel compelled to take time out of their day to share their opinion(s) about a number of things. Some of the things they have felt necessary to bring to my attention include (but are not limited to) my weight, how I raise my kids, and I even had someone loudly and publicly scold me because I mistakenly entered a store through the exit door rather than the entrance. I’ve been fat-shamed, mom-shamed and even door-shamed. But what I’m about to describe is next level.

To quickly summarize what transpired, on our way home from the airport after returning from a delightful visit with our son and his family out in California, my husband and I decided to swing by the local Walmart in order to pick up some produce and a few odds and ends. While minding my Ps and Qs, I selected a number of different produce items that I knew we were in need of and placed them in our cart.

It included the usual staples, bananas and apples, a head of lettuce, carrots and potatoes, and grapes. But unbeknownst to me, while I was carefully selecting my grapes, I was being closely observed by a certain someone who apparently had WAY too much time on her hands.

And before I get too far ahead of myself, I should explain further about the processes that take place when I ‘choose’ food for purchase.

I’m not anything like the folks who are hired by the store to fill an order for a curbside pickup. I don’t look at a list and grab the first thing I see. I’m a perfectionist; therefore, a careful process is involved when I choose my groceries. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a loaf of bread, a bag of chips, a carton of milk, or a bunch of grapes. If I’m going to pay top dollar for groceries, I’m going to make sure that I’m getting the best bang for my buck and the absolute best of what’s available.

It’s a lengthy process but well worth it. With dairy, I’m only going to select the freshest or newest product on the shelf and that involves a careful review of expiration dates. And believe me, I check them ALL. The stores tend to put the old stuff out front and the new stuff behind it, so if I have to temporarily move the old stuff out of the way in order to access the newer stuff in the back, so be it. That same process is also applicable when it comes to baked goods, chips, and many packaged perishables.

But when it comes to evaluating produce, it’s much more complicated, especially when factoring in whether it’s sold per pound or per ‘each’. Personally, if I’m buying something sold per ‘each’, I’m going to pick the biggest item rather than the smallest, wouldn’t you? Not only am I going to pick the biggest item, but I’m also going to do a thorough inspection of each and every item I intend to purchase (before I place it in my cart) in order to evaluate the overall degree of ripeness and/or freshness. And depending on what the item is, different rules apply. What applies for a banana is much different than how I’d evaluate an apple, watermelon, bag of carrots or a bunch of broccoli.

Needless to say, on the day we decided to visit Walmart (at the conclusion of our vacation), after loading up our cart with items from the produce section, we began to wheel our cart towards the dairy section located in the rear of the store. It was at this time that we were accosted by someone we initially perceived as an unassuming, harmless, kindly, 60-something female. However, as it turned out, she was a heavily disguised, female troll.

When she initially approached us, I failed to notice her unmistakable troll features: bark-like skin, long nose and bulging eyes. If I had, I would have left my cart right where it stood, grabbed my purse, and sprinted out the door and directly to my car. But because I hadn’t, I stood like a deer in the headlights as she approached with her cart from the left. “Do you mind if I share something with you?” she asked innocently. “Sure?” I responded.

Big mistake!

Her ‘share’ involved a brief summary of the earlier part of her day, which included purchasing a rotisserie chicken and using it to make a salad. Huh? I wasn’t sure where this was heading. My husband and I exchanged glances. We were both curious as to what the relevance was. And then she pulled the ol’ bait and switch!

“I just want to let you know that I stood and observed you while you put your filthy hands all over the grapes…” she began, looking at me accusingly with her big, bulgy eyes. No. Not kidding. “SERIOUSLY??!!” was my initial response as my face turned a brilliant shade of red. A wave of shame quickly spread from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.

Things went swiftly downhill after that. As she raked me over the coals and proceeded to tell me how she came to the conclusion that I clearly wasn’t ‘raised right’ based on how I mishandled the grapes (according to her), all I could manage to eke out was, “You’re entitled to your opinion.”

I was dumbfounded and at a loss for words. After being grape-shamed by a Walmart troll, that’s the best I could come up with? “You’re entitled to your opinion???!!!” Ack!! The day had been so joyful and incident-free up until that point, and then it went to Hell and took me with it. Yep. I ruminated over that damn encounter for the entire week until I made myself sick, and then I proceeded to ruminate some more.

My dear friends, the ‘would-a, could-a, should-as’ showed up unannounced and uninvited, each wearing a tuxedo and top hat, and held me captive until I was able to break free from their bonds (which required lots of therapy, journaling and personal assurances from friends and family in order to do so). And I’ll be honest, every now and then that last encounter still gets my hackles up even though it happened several months ago. Good grief.

Whenever that kind of stuff happens, whether it involves fat-shaming, mom-shaming, door-shaming, or grape-shaming, it’s always followed by me doing a full self-assessment. After the grape-shaming incident, I asked myself a multitude of questions. Was I out of line? Did I do something wrong? Should I have handled the grapes differently? Am I a bad person? Could there be something to her statement that I wasn’t ‘raised right’? And how was she able to surmise that based on one observation? I mean, no, I wasn’t raised right necessarily, my youth was a sh*t show. But that’s beside the point.

I wish I had enough self confidence that I could simply wave off people/trolls or give them a dose of their own medicine when they choose to unload on me, but that has yet to happen. After the Walmart incident, my husband said I should be proud of myself because instead of tucking tail and running away, I at least spoke up (which I’ve never done before). He does have a point, but I wish I had really let her have it rather than meekly responding with, “You’re entitled to your opinion.”

It sounds awful and immature, but a part of me wishes I had gone full throttle on that lady/troll. I’ve come up with all kinds of great responses since that fateful day, some rather vulgar and some pretty damn clever. Of all the things I’ve thought of, my three favorites are as follows: 1) Go f*ck yourself, 2) Do you need a ride back to the psych ward? When we’re done shopping, we can drop you off, and 3) You should see what I do with the lettuce!

The problem is, had I done that, I’d be no better than her. I’m not a troll, nor do I want to be. There’s already enough of them residing on this planet and they’re no longer sticking to residing under bridges. They’re literally everywhere! But there are ways to get a point across without being hateful. Sometimes saying nothing at all says everything.

Anyway, that’s what I have to offer to you today, my friends. My last post was rather dark and met with silence, so either nobody read it or people did read it and chose to say nothing rather than be cruel or unkind. I hope you enjoy what I shared. It did have some unsettling elements but I thought it also had some which were humorous or thought-provoking.

Alright, I’d better go while the night is still young.

Much love to you and yours.