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Hello, everyone! For two very valid reasons, I have decided to reshare a post from one of the blogs I recently retired. Reason number one is that I just returned home after spending the better part of the afternoon at a baby shower and have enough sense to recognize that there’s no way I’m going to be able to conjure up a post from scratch at this late hour. Reason number two is that the content is far too relevant. I am able to say this with utter conviction because despite endless assurances by the folks who make and market Tums, four extra-strength chewable tablets have not made the slightest dent in quelling the agonizing nausea I’m presently suffering from. I will accept some responsibility for the predicament I once again find myself in but I’m also holding the person accountable who brought the chocolate fountain. Damn chocolate fountain! Gets me every time!!
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Being a quitter is often associated with being a ‘loser’, but quitting isn’t always a bad thing.
For instance, there are so many things in this world that we can live without. Booze, drugs and cigarettes are the first things that come to mind. But those things have never tempted me, not in the slightest. My greatest temptation? Sugar. Damn sugar! I have found that best case scenario, I’ve been able to go two solid years without it, and then completely ‘lose my mind’ when something significant happens, and fall back into the trap.
The trap starts out simple enough. “One cookie couldn’t hurt,” I’ll tell myself (knowing full well that it can and will hurt because this is historically what ALWAYS happens. I always assure myself that ‘this time’ I’ll be strong enough and not let sugar get the better of me).
Ha! Who am I kidding?!
It’s only a matter of time before my resolve completely dissolves and the slow but steady uphill climb on the scale begins. And it clearly has as the last few times I’ve gone shopping, size medium and large are no longer options for my wardrobe. Yes, I’ve entered the dreaded scenario where unless the tag has a large ‘X’ on it, either followed by an ‘L’ or preceded by a ‘1’, it’s not worth the effort taking it off the rack and trying it on because it’ll only lead to disappointment.
Sh*t!! How the Hell did I wind up here yet again??!!
What’s that saying? There’s something about doing something over and over and expecting things to change. Hang on. I’m going to look it up. Ah, yes! The quote is as follows, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”.
And apparently, the guy who many credit for this quote, Albert Einstein, did not make this statement. He can be credited for a lot of things; the Special Theory of Relativity, the General Theory of Relativity, the Photoelectric Effect, and the Brownian Motion Explanation are amongst them. But not the insanity quote.
From all I could glean after wasting far too much time perusing the internet, the quote originated in an Al-Anon or Narc-Anon meeting back in the early 80s. Mr. Einstein was long gone by then.
Look, I know I’m on a slippery slope and if I don’t get my act together, it’s only going to be a matter of time before I wind up auditioning for My 600-Pound Life and being routinely shamed by Dr. Now for refusing to stick to his 1,200 calorie per day diet. “No,” he’ll say sans emotion, “That isn’t possible. If you stuck to the diet, you should have lost 20 pounds, not gained 30. You’re lying to me.” “Well, I might have had one cookie,” I’ll chime in defensively, “I’ve had a really rough week. But ordinarily, I just eat boiled chicken and steamed vegetables for every meal, including breakfast.”
One cookie? Well, maybe that’s where it starts but that’s not where it ends. What is it about the cookie that makes it seem so innocent? It’s only ONE cookie, after all! But it never stays one cookie, eventually it becomes one cookie with a scoop of ice cream as an accompaniment. Or if you happen to be out of ice cream and you do have a batch of freshly made brownies that just happen to be cooling on the countertop, what’s the harm of indulging in one of those too?
I mean, who can turn down a cookie AND a brownie? Better yet, two cookies and two brownies? And if I find myself at a potluck, I can usually convince myself that it’d be a shame to not sample ALL of the cookies, brownies, muffins, pies and cupcakes that people went to so much trouble to bake from scratch (or purchase from their local grocery store).
I’m telling you, it’s a slippery slope. And as I said earlier, this ain’t my first rodeo. Well, I didn’t put it in those exact words, but you know what I mean. I’ve travelled down this ol’ dusty, extremely predictable, never-ends-well road before. Far too many times.
The thing that slays me is that each time I get back on the horse and make the effort and lose the weight, I emphatically tell myself, “I’ll NEVER get fat again!” They are clearly empty words because I know, deep down, that it’s only a matter of time before I start to pack on the pounds. Something will distract me, a cookie will appear, and I will shove it into my mouth without taking a pause or giving it a second thought.
And when I think back, I’ve ‘quit’ sugar soooo many times. And I’ll ask myself why can’t my go-to be something like kale or bean sprouts? There’s no shame when you overindulge on something considered to be healthy. But I can assure you, if I were to confide in someone that just last week when I was having a really bad day, I went to Safeway, purchased a Hostess cherry pie and a 2-pack of cupcakes, wolfed them down while sitting in my car in the parking lot, disposed of the evidence before returning home, then followed that up with a large bowl of salted caramel ice cream and 4 oatmeal scotchies?
I’d expect not simply a dusting of shame, but a tidal wave!
If I were to share the same thing with someone but replace ‘Hostess cherry pie and a 2-pack of cupcakes…’ with ‘a bunch of kale and a bag of bean sprouts’, I’d get a totally different reaction. “And?” the person would respond, stifling a yawn, “You’re telling me this because…?” Mind you, they would be saying this while mindlessly scrolling on their phone, trying to find something that was actually newsworthy.
Alas, it’s time to stop whining about it and actually do something about it. Quitting sugar is a GOOD thing. And when I find myself starting to spiral, which has been happening A LOT, I’ve got to remember that in time all things shall pass. They truly do. And despite a succession of bad things occurring in recent weeks…
Ok, I have to take a pause. I’m all but certain I just heard my mom pipe in, “Someone always has it worse.” Damnit, Mom! You left this planet nearly 4 years ago and you still find it necessary to put in your two cents?!
But she did/does have a point. Life is about perspective and what I consider to be ‘bad’ maybe isn’t THAT bad or isn’t nearly AS bad as I perceive it to be. And that’s when I have to remember what I do have rather than what I don’t (or the silver linings).
So, when my youngest moved out a couple of months ago and took his cat with him, rather than seeing it as a loss because I REALLY DO MISS THEM, I should consider myself fortunate that he now has the means to provide for himself and no longer needs to reside in my basement. That’s a great thing.
And when my decades-long doctor recently sent a letter announcing his retirement, with a reminder that I would need to seek future care elsewhere, rather than seeing it as a huge downer, because I’m a really sh*tty patient and he’s the only one who seems to ‘get me’, I tried to look at the silver lining. Realistically, this is the perfect opportunity to find care which is closer and more convenient because it was quite a trek getting to/from his clinic.
And, honestly, good for him! He was a dedicated practitioner for 34 years and it’s about time he’s decided to put himself first. Hopefully he can enjoy whatever the next chapter has in store.
Monthly game night getting cancelled? Major buzzkill but I can handle it. My dog scratching the f*ck out of my bumper when trying to jump into the back of my new car after getting her nails trimmed? Really sucks. But I did mention that my car is new, and despite the scratches, I’m really grateful that I even have a new car.
And when I recently went to the thrift store to purchase some upsized clothing? Well, I didn’t feel too good about myself…but then I looked around. And let me tell you, upon close observation, there was no denying that more than a handful of people standing within a 30-foot radius clearly had it A LOT worse.
What am I trying to say here? I suppose I’m saying that we all have our struggles but at the end of the day, when you feel like sh*t and it seems like your life is unraveling, take a breath and no matter how bad things may seem, think about the silver lining(s) or what you do have rather than what you don’t.
Anyway, that’s what I’m going to try and work on, especially when a sugar-laden treat (i.e.: cookie) tries to reassure me that it’ll fix all my problems and pull me out of my temporary slump because it never does. Not ever.
