April 11, 2021 – Walking Into The Wind

I’m of a particularly gloomy disposition today and as much as I hate to admit it, I’m not done complaining. Lately, life feels much like ‘walking into the wind’. I try and power through it but the whole experience seems rather unpleasant. My body tenses, bracing against the continual gusts, and every now and then, the wind kicks up some sand or dirt and sends it in my direction. If I’m lucky, I’ll avoid getting it in my eyes but it’s bound to happen at some point. Maybe it won’t happen today but it may happen tomorrow or the day after that. There are things I often think about and they’re probably things I should discuss with my therapist, but since all of that crap happened with the billing department, I am a bit gun-shy about returning. I feel anger about not only that, but about so many things that have happened throughout my life. How I would love to numb out right about now with a handful of Cadbury Easter Eggs and some homemade Caramel corn.

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April 10, 2021 – Photo

I took this photo after my husband harvested several carrots from our garden. I call it, “If you think Mother Nature doesn’t have a sense of humor, think again.” I’m not sure what he’s using for fertilizer but it’s sure producing some interesting results. I realize it seems a bit R-rated but it is just a photo of an orange carrot after all, a bona fide member of the root vegetable family. I cannot help but laugh when I look at it though. I’ve certainly never seen anything quite like it at the grocery store!

April 9, 2021 – Getting Nowhere Fast

Do you ever feel as if you’ve expended a great deal of energy towards achieving specific goals, only to find that you’ve wound up no worse, but certainly no better? Maybe I’m making it into something more than it is, but it sure seems like that’s how most things have played out this week. From the Covid-19 vaccination to the snafu with my mortgage payment, and everything in between, it really feels like I’m getting nowhere fast. I keep running towards a goal or goals but it or they continue to elude me. My greatest concern and the one thing I wanted to do that I was absolutely certain would change my life for the better (by helping me attain greater freedom), was to finally get my Covid-19 vaccination. Just like everyone else, I have waited for my turn. Initially, the state was going to vaccinate people like me right away but then I kept getting sent to the back of the line (so to speak). On March 31st, I was officially notified that I was eligible. Hallelujah!

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April 7, 2021 – Disillusioned

I’m feeling particularly down today. Depression is definitely taking hold. I’ve been doing so well and it’s frustrating to feel the walls closing in (yet again). I had such high hopes about getting things done but what I’ve managed to achieve thus far is nothing to write home about. My attempts at working on the pond fell short, along with my attempts at painting. No, it’s not been a total loss. I did manage to get a bunch of weeds pulled in the backyard and I nearly completed grouting all the gaps and cracks in the bathroom. Still, in the scheme of things, it doesn’t seem like much. I’ve had nothing but time on my hands and what I have managed to do with it is squander most of it watching TV. It’s so easy to fall into that bad habit. It requires no effort whatsoever. All I have to do is sit down, lean back, and press that little ‘Netflix’ button on my remote. A friend recommended ‘Last Tango in Halifax’ and after I got a ‘taste’ of it, I can hardly tear myself away. My husband and I watched 4 episodes back-to-back yesterday.

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April 6, 2021 – Photo

I took this photo in Luxembourg in 2012. I’m not sure what it is about it, but I find it intriguing. What was going on below (at street level) was even more intriguing, as two people were behaving like imbeciles over a parking space. A guy was waiting for a specific parking space and had his blinker on (indicating his intent), and as soon as the space freed up, before he had a chance to back in, a woman slipped into it. The guy was so mad that he actually spit in her face when she refused to move, and then he got back into his vehicle, and proceeded to strike her vehicle with his. Oh, humanity!

April 5, 2021 – Enough with the spam already!

When I started my blog, I had no idea that I could be ‘spammed’ on WordPress. I thought all of the comments I received were legitimate. For this reason, I took the time to respond to every single one of them. It’s been quite gratifying hearing from my readers. Each time I read a positive comment, it gives me the extra boost I need to keep at it. We all need a pat on the back once in a while. What I discovered, after doing some investigating, is that not all comments are legit. Some are a bunch of phony-baloney. How did I come to this conclusion? Well, after writing back to several ‘people’ (who had submitted a comment) and requesting their contact info, I never heard a peep. It seemed a bit odd to me that people would reach out and say something really flattering and not respond when I wrote back. Out of sheer curiosity, I decided to look a bit more closely at several of the comments I received from ‘people’ that never answered when I wrote to them. Guess what I noticed? They all have a common trait, each has ‘extraproxy’ or ‘extraproxies’ in their web address.

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April 3, 2021 – How are things in Glocca Morra?

There’s nothing quite like receiving a call from my mother at four-thirty in the morning, to wake me up with a start. What was so important that she felt it necessary to call me at such an unusual hour? It’s not what you think, my friends. No, there wasn’t an emergency or anything to be alarmed about, she just wanted to tell me that she woke up with a song in her head, “How are things in Glocca Morra?” Dear, Lord! I am doomed! I’m not sure what happened before I found my way to this planet, but I think I drew the short straw. Between my mother and her mother and her mother’s mother winding up with dementia, and my father winding up as a hoarder and a schizophrenic, the odds are not in my favor. I already see the changes in several of my siblings, the paranoia ramping up and the odd behavior, it doesn’t leave me feeling terribly confident in what I have to face in the years to come. As morbid as it sounds, knowing that my ‘borrowed’ kidney is only going to last between 12-20 years may actually work to my advantage.

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