My entire family is insane.

March 13, 2021 -There’s no place like home.

My friends, I have to tell you, it’s always good to reconnect with family and friends. I just spent the last 3 days over at my brother’s. With him, I can be as silly and stupid as I want to be and there’s no judgment. We have so much history together that we could spend days just talking about ‘old times’. In fact, I think if he had his way, he would have preferred staying in the era of ‘The Brady Bunch’ and ‘The Pink Panther Show’. There’s something about the 1970s that he’s fascinated by. I’m not sure if it has to do with the innocence of youth or the simplicity of the times, but I’m sure if he could time travel, that’d be his first and only stop. I don’t know if I ‘dig’ the 1970s as much as he does. My memories from back then differ greatly from my brother. The first 5 half of the decade was pure chaos in our family. My mom divorced my father in 1970 and until she remarried in 1975, we experienced some rough and tumble times. Regardless, we all got through it, some better than others.

March 12, 2021 – Decisions, decisions.

Would you like to know what happens when two indecisive people get together? Total mayhem! One indecisive person (such as myself) is bad enough. Nothing gets done in a timely manner. Everyone’s wants, needs, and desires must be taken into consideration before a clear and concise decision can be made. When there are more than one or two people, five for example, that can lead to a long, drawn-out, and exasperating process. Going through this on two separate occasions today has been how I’ve managed to spend most of my afternoon and evening. I’m nearly brain dead from all of the overthinking. And the two decisions were over relatively minor things, whether to extend my visit for one more night and what to pick up for dinner. Sad to say, but the only thing I managed to figure out was dinner. Determining whether or not I’m going to stay one more night will have to wait until tomorrow. If I sleep as bad tonight as I did yesterday, I’m definitely not extending my visit.

March 11, 2021 – A Good Day

Have you ever had one of those days when everything fell into place effortlessly? I’m experiencing one of those days. Aside from insomnia, I cannot find fault in a single thing that happened today. It’s about as close to perfect as I’ll ever get. The day started out beautiful and sunny. I woke up much earlier than I ordinarily would but I didn’t mind, it gave me a chance to take care of a few things before I headed out the door. My brother Clover had already asked if I wanted to stay in his trailer during my visit but I wanted to have a hotel lined up as a Plan B. Having that extra time this morning gave me a chance to do the necessary research and get a ‘lay of the land’, which was very helpful. I was also able to dispense all of my pills for next week. I already had my bags packed and my food items prepared (the day prior) so all that was required before I ‘hit the road’ was taking a shower, getting dressed, eating breakfast, brushing my teeth, and loading up the car.

March 10, 2021 – Safeway Monopoly

My friends, I’m in big trouble! Safeway has started up their ‘Monopoly’ game again. This is not good! I am a sucker for free stuff and I know that if I ‘play’, I am bound to get some free stuff, even if it’s just some bottled water, aspirin, and a canister of salt. I cannot help myself. There are much bigger prizes, of course! There are millions of dollars at stake, along with homes and boats and cars and all kinds of cool stuff. Each year I tell myself, “Never again!” and each year, when the Monopoly game rolls around yet again and the checkout cashier asks if I’d like to play, I respond, “As much as I hate to say it, YES!!!!” The true name of the game/contest should be ‘Buy a bunch of crap that you really don’t want or need in order to get more tickets’, because that’s really what it’s all about. Yep, it’s all about marketing and getting the American consumer to buy, buy, buy! Sad to say, but I ‘fall for it’ every year. What can I tell you? Those folks at the marketing firm know what they’re doing!

March 9, 2021 – “At least you have your health.”

There was a common phrase that ‘older’ people used when I was much younger. I didn’t understand why it was so popular until I was in the thick of my own (physical) health issues. The phrase? “At least you have your health.” It used to really irk me because it seemed dismissive, kind of like, “It could always be worse.” It also didn’t appear to take into account mental health because that’s been a struggle I’ve had for many years and unless I actually share it with people, most wouldn’t have a clue. I remember conversations I’ve had with folks of advanced years, when I would complain about feeling overwhelmed for assorted reasons, lack of money, lack of support, or whatever else was troubling me at the time. The odds were, if they were going to respond with a pat answer, 9 times out of 10 it would be, “At least you have your health.” Ack! It used to frustrate me to no end! Instead of what I yearned to hear, something to the effect of, “I’m sorry to hear that. Keep the faith. Eventually, things will get better,” I’d get the ol’ health quote which felt much like, “Too bad, so sad,” or, “What are you b*tching about?”

March 8, 2021 – When it’s time (Part Two)

Another thing that I could never comprehend was that even though she professed to being a Christian, she managed to justify having an affair with a married man. Huh? Yes, the last time she flew out to see me (when I lived in another state), she was ‘in love’. She had met a guy that worked for the same company and they had started ‘hooking up’. During the week that she spent with me, the majority of the time she was on the phone with him or gushing about how wonderful he was. When I asked her about the man’s wife, she told me the wife was a terrible person and was mean and verbally abusive to him, she had even ‘scratched his face’. In my mind, I was rooting for the wife. I also thought that if she was calling him names and treating him ‘mean’, he had it coming. That a-hole was rubbing her nose in the fact that he was having an affair. If he were my husband, I probably would have done the same thing. I’m serious, he and my friend were sending photos back and forth (on their phones) and she kept trying to get me to look at them. One of them was of his crotch. The whole thing sickened me.

March 7, 2021 – When it’s time (Part One)

Did you ever meet someone when you were very young that you considered a friend? Not just any ol’ friend, your best friend. They became nearly interwoven in your life because they were always ‘there’ when you needed them. Every birthday, every anniversary, and every Christmas, a card or cards word arrive in the mail. Each card would be signed, “Always, Your Friend.” When you came to town, without fail, they would make a point to meet up. They stood beside you at your wedding, they comforted you when you grieved, they celebrated your successes. You could always count on them. However, as the years passed, you began to notice subtle changes in the relationship, primarily how this ‘friend’ behaved and how that behavior impacted you. You recognize that you don’t necessarily relate to them any longer and you wonder if you ever actually did. And one spring day, after finally getting your ‘fill’ of them, you have a ground-breaking realization, “I have absolutely nothing in common with this person…and they’re certifiably nuts.”

March 6, 2021 – Love and Marriage

So many times I could have thrown in the towel. So many times. We met when we were both incredibly young, just 19 and newly ‘out in the world’. Initially, I wasn’t the least bit attracted to him. I always gravitated toward ‘bad boys’ and he was far too nice to fit into that category. We had both been recently assigned to a base in North Germany and shared an adjoining wall in our coed dorm. He knew a lot about me; whereas, I knew very little about him. He was quiet and shy and I was loud and gregarious. Before things became serious between us, I was actually dating his best friend (which made things a bit awkward for a time). However, after his best friend and I broke up, things slowly changed between my exceedingly shy neighbor and me. I’m not sure why, but he was the one I would go to for comfort when I became overwhelmed by life or people. He would lay on his bed and I would rest my head on his chest, and then as he quietly listened, I would talk at length about all of the things that were bothering me. I had never experienced anything like it before.

March 5, 2021 – Psychic Connections

Do you ever find yourself thinking a great deal about a specific person and then out of the blue, they reach out? Or, on the other hand, you reach out and they reply with, “How funny! You’ve been on my mind all week!” The means of connecting can be through a phone call or a text or a letter, but one way doesn’t trump the others. At the end of the day, those are the means we currently have available to connect with others. Or is it? Maybe there’s more to a ‘thought’ than we give it credit for. I cannot tell you how many times I haven’t thought about someone for months or years and then all of a sudden, their name pops into my head. Nearly every time it happens, I will ‘hear’ from them in one form or another. You know the other day when I wrote about my brother Dapper Dan? I hadn’t heard from him for several months. It wasn’t two days after I posted the blog about him, he reached out via text. Weird. I wonder if he knows I called him a ‘Master Moocher’? Geesh. I hope not!

March 4, 2021 – Thrown for a loop.

Would you like to know the best way to throw me for a loop? If you don’t know, I will gladly tell you. First, give me a minimum of two things to choose between. Let’s say, for instance, you have asked me to choose between two restaurants to dine at. Be aware that the more choices you give, the longer it will take for me to reach a decision. The restaurants you have selected are Ivar’s Fish & Chips and Panera Bread (which serves primarily sandwiches). Before I proceed, you must know that my Pisces brain does not like to ‘choose’. The more choices it is presented with, the more confused and overwhelmed it becomes. Regardless, two choices are doable. When I have to decide which one outweighs the other, many things are taken into consideration. I’m already very hungry and am about to gnaw off my own arm, so time is of the essence. ‘Which restaurant did I eat at last’, ‘who has the best specials’, ‘is it for lunch or dinner’ (makes a big difference), ‘do I have a gift card for either one’, and ‘which one is closest’ are the questions I ask myself.