My entire family is insane.

March 3 , 2021 – The Five Stages of Grief

As I sit in a place of acceptance today, I realize that I literally just went through the five stages of grief. In the last 5 days, I have experienced every stage. Denial. Been there. Anger. Done that. Bargaining. Yep. Depression. You better believe it. Acceptance. Uh-huh. You would think a special person or pet in my life just died or I went through a divorce or lost my job or was told by my physician that I had two weeks left to live. Nope, the grief I’m dealing with is not related to any of those things (although I did lose my job a year ago). The source of my grief is due to the ‘loss’ of my therapist. Let me explain. She didn’t die and she isn’t missing, but I have recognized (after a great deal of processing) that I can no longer continue to see her because I have lost confidence in her billing department’s ability to ever get my insurance matters resolved.

March 2, 2021 – Why must life be so complicated?

Sorry, my friends, I am here to rant today because I simply don’t know what else to do. I feel like I’m about to crack. My husband is tired of me talking incessantly about the insurance snafus so I don’t want to burden him any more. Ordinarily, if I cannot make sense of things after speaking with him, I visit my therapist to air out my concerns; however, because I have more-than-valid reasons that there’ll be yet another problem trying to process the claim should I schedule a session, I refuse to go. My husband says the whole thing is simple and doesn’t understand why I continue to lament the situation when it can be so easily solved. “Just go to someone else,” he told me earlier today, “Or pay them their hourly rate and get the help you need.” As much as I’d love to follow his advice, there’s a slight problem. Number one, ‘just going to someone else’ is a lot more complicated than it sounds. Number two, we don’t have the means to pay $108 per session 2x – 3x per month.

March 1, 2021 – Dapper Dan

In previous posts, I’m 99% positive that I’ve mentioned nearly all of my brothers in great detail with the exception of Dapper Dan. I usually assign initials to my siblings so I don’t have to keep spelling out their names repeatedly but since I already used ‘DD’ for ‘Diabolical Debbie’, I guess I’ll have to resort to calling this particular brother ‘Dan’. Dan is the youngest of my five brothers. Of the 9 children, he comes in at number 8. Before he was born, everyone thought he was going to be a girl, but fate had other plans. For a short time, he was the ‘baby’ of the family and got all kinds of attention lavished upon him. Just when he started to get comfortable with his ‘position’ in the family, I showed up and I think it really pissed him off. As far back as I can remember, our relationship has been strained. I am almost certain that when the stork dropped me off, he thought my purpose (as far as he was concerned) was a human punching bag. Having him to contend with for the majority of my childhood certainly made life challenging.

February 28, 2021 – Seeing things from a new perspective.

I thought a great deal about what I wrote yesterday and how much the situation really riled me. I’ve lost two solid days allowing it to consume me, and for what??!! Yes, anytime I am ‘surprised’ by an unexpected bill, I get a little worked up. I hate to admit it, but that’s not the only thing that evokes that kind of response. A lot of ‘stuff’ gets me worked up. Some of it’s little stuff that is so insignificant that I cannot even come up with an example at this moment. Oh, wait! I just thought of something!! When I am walking on a sidewalk and staying to my right and the person approaching me is not. In fact, they’re steps away and showing no signs of yielding and it becomes a battle of the wills as to who will eventually move out of the way to avoid a head-on collision. That’s an example of the little stuff that works me up. There’s also people that snap their gum or chew their fingernails or steal my french fries. Yes, clearly I’ve got a few issues to work on. ‘Control’ issues being at the top of the list.

February 27, 2021 – Insurance and Billing Blunders

I feel like an emotional basket case. Whether it’s due to the full moon or other matters, I cannot be certain. If I could help you understand what I mean by ’emotional basket case’, I would describe it as much like what Humpty-Dumpty experienced before he plummeted to the ground below and shattered into a thousand pieces. Ok, he probably only ‘shattered’ into about 10-20 pieces, but who’s counting? I’ve been fragile and ‘shaky’ all day and susceptible to all kinds of ‘triggers’. A day that held so much promise (apart from the few things I managed to accomplish) turned into a TV day, in other words, what I ‘do’ in order to distract myself from negative thoughts that continually loop in my head. The words ‘defeated’, ‘frustrated’, ‘scared’, ‘angry’, ‘anxious’, and ‘annoyed’ just about sum up all of the emotions I’m dealing with. Why am I feeling this way? Ok, when I mentioned earlier it could possibly be due to the full moon or other matters, I lied. I know exactly why I’m feeling this way. I wish I could say it’s the first time I’ve gone through this, or the last time I will ever have to, but I know better. Yep, it’s the usual suspect, health insurance.

February 26, 2021 – Big Blue Marble (Part Two)

So where did I leave off? Oh, yes! I was talking about the ‘Big Blue Marble’ TV show that used to air on PBS in the 70s and 80s and how I wrote the show (when I was in middle school) and requested a pen pal. After I graduated high school, my mom took me to Europe at which time I actually got to meet my pen pal ‘in the flesh’. What I failed to mention before I started down that dusty trail was that I didn’t just have one pen pal from the show, I actually had three! I had the one (I’ve already mentioned) in Denmark, but I also had one in Germany and another in Malaysia. And before I hopped on that train to meet my Danish pen pal, I had actually made a separate trip (the week prior) to meet my German pen pal. The two experiences were like night and day, as polar opposite as you can get. When I met up with my pen pal in Denmark, aside from the fact that I was a sh*tty guest, I had a fabulous time. That was not the case when I met up with Marcus.

February 25, 2021 – Big Blue Marble (Part One)

If you were alive between the years of 1974 – 1983 and a fan of PBS, you might have come across the TV show ‘Big Blue Marble’. I was a big fan and watched it every week it was broadcast (with the exception of the 4 years we didn’t actually have a TV after my brother Wily Fox put his foot through it and broke it). I found the content very educational and entertaining. One thing it featured was an opportunity to obtain a pen pal. At some point during each episode, it would provide an address and ask viewers to send a request to the address if interested. Of course, I wanted a pen pal! Who wouldn’t want a pen pal? When I sent in my first request, I couldn’t wait to see whether they would actually grant it and if so, who it would be. As promised, the show came through and linked me up with a girl (slightly younger than me) that lived in Denmark.

February 24, 2021 – Tales from a Thrift Shop.

If you’re ever bored one day and want to ‘liven things up’, take a drive over to your nearest thrift shop. Thrift shops serve as veritable dumping grounds for unwanted ‘stuff’. I go as a means of entertainment but I also go with the hope that I can find yet another interesting mug to add to my collection. Years ago, I got lucky and found an old Gary Larson mug that was in pristine condition. I absolutely love Gary Larson! It’s been my go-to mug for at least 6 years; however, someone (I’m not naming names) chipped it recently while placing it in the dishwasher. I don’t usually get upset about material things but that really bummed me out. Each time I’d lift it up in order to take a sip of tea, it always made me smile. Oh, well. Maybe I’ll find another someday. Anyhow, I was talking about thrift shops. Yes, they carry nearly anything and everything your heart might desire. They also tend to attract some ‘interesting’ folks.

February 23, 2021 – All About Bacon

Humankind must have done something right for bacon to be introduced to our palates. To me, it’s as close to Heaven as one can get while alive (that’s if you disqualify chocolate). Bacon makes everything better. It turns a boring breakfast into a brilliant breakfast. It turns the best burger into the best ever burger. It’s a hot commodity and the folks at Jimmy Dean, Hormel, Farmland Foods, Oscar Mayer, and Trader Joe’s know it! They can charge anywhere from $2.99 to $8.00 per pound and we consumers are still going to buy it. What do you call scrambled eggs, oatmeal, and a banana? Lonely and lost. Without bacon at their side, they lose their sense of purpose. I eat one delicious, crispy slice every single day as part of a well-balanced breakfast. I know it’s not good for me but neither is alcohol or cigarettes or sugar. Something’s got to give at some point and since I don’t partake in anything that ‘alters my mood’, I choose bacon.

February 22, 2021 – Budget Travel Tips

When I was a child, whenever my mom brought me along on a trip, we always stayed in the cheapest hotel or motel available. More often than not, that meant a Motel 6. If you want bare bones accommodations and possibly bed bugs, feel free to make a reservation at one of their 1400+ locations across the United States, they’ll be glad ‘to leave the light on for you’. Me? At this stage in my life, I prefer staying elsewhere, somewhere with fewer sketchy characters and also one that might include a hot cooked-to-order breakfast (or at least a DIY waffle maker). I’ve stayed in enough places where keeping a can of mace on hand wasn’t always such a bad idea. But I don’t want to do that any more. I got a taste of ‘luxury’ and I don’t want to go back to bare bones and bed bugs. You must be thinking to yourself that I’m blowing a big wad of cash for ‘a room with a view’. However, I’m not. I’m paying nearly the same amount as I would at a Motel 6, but for far better accommodations with multiple amenities.