My friends, it’s a good thing I was sitting down when I called the local dry cleaner to find out 1) whether my curtain panels were ready, and 2) what the total cost was for the service. Holy smokes! “$39.06,” answered the gal who took the call, to which I incredulously replied, “$39.06, for two curtain panels??!!” “Yes, $39.06,” she coolly reiterated. I thought at first that I’d misheard her, but clearly I hadn’t since she told me not once, but twice. You’re not surprised? The cost seems perfectly reasonable? If that is what you’re thinking, you’re likely not a penny pincher or a nickel squeezer, such as myself. I’ve also been known to squeeze my share of oranges and avocados, but that’s completely unrelated. If I had known what the cost would be ahead of time when I swung by the dry cleaner’s last week to drop them off, I would have swiftly retrieved them and headed right back out the door.
Continue reading “February 11, 2021 – No muss, no fuss.”February 10, 2021 – Wily Fox
Have you ever considered what key ingredients you would include if you had to write out a recipe for a successful relationship? If I were to do so, the main ingredient would be ‘trust’. I’d also throw in common interests, loyalty and mutual respect, but without ‘trust’, the whole thing’s going to fall apart at some point. In the relationships I have with my siblings, ‘trust’ is clearly lacking. I have several siblings that I avoid at all costs because I’ve been ‘burnt’ too many times to count. With my sisters, I don’t ‘trust’ that they won’t twist and warp what I say and turn it into something ugly. It has happened far too many times. With most of my brothers, the primary issue between us has to do with a lack of mutual respect. And then there’s ‘Wily Fox’. There are no common interests, there is no mutual respect, there is no loyalty and there is, without a doubt, absolutely no ‘trust’. Zero. Zip. Nada.
Continue reading “February 10, 2021 – Wily Fox”February 9, 2021 – Memory Loss
Have you ever thought about how much our brains are like toilets? Hang on, hang on. Don’t give up on me so easily, I think I have a valid point. What I’m trying to say is, just like a toilet, you fill up your brain with a bunch of ‘crap’, and then with one quick flush, it’s gone. That’s assuming you fill up your brain with ‘crap’, which I happen to do on a regular basis. People magazine. Crap. Reality TV shows. Crap. Game shows. Crap. Video games. Crap. Random YouTube videos about ‘funny animals’. More crap. And maybe you don’t fill up your brain with a bunch of ‘crap’. Maybe you don’t watch TV or read gossip mags or play video games, you only study languages and read books and think of ways of how to combat disease and end homelessness and produce viable drinking water in all regions of the world. Either way, at some point our brains have a tendency to ‘flush’. At some point, the knowledge of where you left your keys or somebody’s name or how to say ‘square’ in Spanish will be gone, it’s going to happen. I can assure you.
Continue reading “February 9, 2021 – Memory Loss”February 8, 2021 – You always hurt the one you love.
I finally got some clarity today. My daughter reached out to my husband and shared her perspective on things. The best way to summarize the situation is that we both feel misunderstood. Despite how we choose to engage, by talking on the phone, by texting, by email, or by letter, things just continue to get further tangled up. It’s as if we both are screaming at each other and neither one of us is listening. I tried to make things right immediately after the initial ‘incident’ that started the whole train wreck. I spoke to her twice on the phone and instead of making things better, it made them much worse. In order to make things ‘right’, because she no longer wished to talk to me because she needed ‘time’, I sent her an email. Regardless of what I said in the email, about starting anew and accepting each other without any expectations, we remained in a deadlock. I then mailed her a letter.
Continue reading “February 8, 2021 – You always hurt the one you love.”February 7, 2021 – Conditional Love
If you’ve ever had a child, there’s a good chance that you’ll be able to relate to what I am going to discuss today. As a parent, you are supposed to love your children unconditionally. If you don’t, you are a ‘bad person’. You are expected to be ‘superhuman’ and love them through all of the joy and all of the pain. It doesn’t matter what you go through as a parent or how much you put yourself last, none of that can be factored into the equation. It is your obligation, your duty, to love your child or children without any conditions ‘for as long as you both shall live’. No matter what the transgression, you are supposed to forgive them. No matter how wonderful or awful they are, you are supposed to accept them. No matter how much or how little they love you, no matter whether they break your heart or fill it with joy, you are supposed to love them, no-strings-attached.
Continue reading “February 7, 2021 – Conditional Love”February 6, 2021 – Death and Taxes
Unlike knowing whether or not your unemployment benefits will be extended yet again, the U.S. Postal Service will last another 49 years, you’ll ever have grandchildren, your car will survive another year, people will continue to use checks as a form of payment, or your blog will become successful and profitable, there are two things you can be certain of, death and taxes. Yes, my friends, there’s no getting around either of them. Death? It’s bound to happen at some point. Nobody lives forever. And Taxes? Taxes aren’t going anywhere. There has to be some means of collecting money to fund Medicare, our national defense, Social Security, health programs, food stamps, disability payments, as well as paying down our national debt (holy smokes, at the rate it’s climbing, we’re never going to pay it off!). If we didn’t have to pay taxes, I can assure you, few people would voluntarily contribute to any of the programs or services I just mentioned.
Continue reading “February 6, 2021 – Death and Taxes”February 5, 2021 – The Inevitable
If you’re anything like me, the last thing you want to become is your mother. I have spent a great deal of time intentionally doing things differently so that no one ever accuses me of being ‘just like her’. I know that sounds kind of crappy but I am just trying to keep things real. As much as I love her, she drives me nuts. I never wanted to emulate her. I admired her strength and her ability to ‘forge on’, no matter what the circumstances. And that’s not the only positive thing I can say about her. She kept a neat and tidy home filled with lovely furnishings. She also was a good cook and could whip up a killer pie in no time. Every birthday and Christmas, you could count on a personalized card and a check. As an artist, she completed several pretty impressive watercolor paintings of lighthouses and water scenes. If you needed her and her schedule permitted, she’d arrive at your doorstep as soon as humanly possible. She was also generous to a fault.
Continue reading “February 5, 2021 – The Inevitable”February 4, 2021 – Finding Your Tribe
People weren’t designed to be isolated. We need other people, now more than ever. Without others, it’s easy to withdraw into ourselves and close ourselves off from the world. We need others for support and assurance but also to keep us ‘in check’. If we don’t have a person (or people) to do that, it’s easy for our minds and thoughts to get away from us and lead us down questionable paths. I am grateful I have my husband nearby to rein me in when necessary. He is often able to look at the same scenario and come away with an entirely different ‘take’ on things, which is healthy for me. I often look at things from an emotional perspective when they are directed at me, while he can step back and observe the exact same things objectively (because he is not personally involved). It is quite amazing, once he shares his views with me, how it helps me to reevaluate and often change my initial response.
Continue reading “February 4, 2021 – Finding Your Tribe”February 3, 2021 – Expectations
How would we humans function if we didn’t have expectations? It seems the moment we take our first breath, we at least have a few. There may not be many but on the most basic level, I think we all expect to at least be fed and nurtured. And as we grow, the list of expectations grows, too. It may develop from being fed and nurtured to having our diapers changed when we soil them or getting our mother’s or father’s attention when we cry out. As our abilities and awareness increase, so do the expectations we place on others as well as ourselves. What is interesting, is that so much of what we determine we ‘need’ and later ‘expect’ is often dictated by our caregivers. Imagine what would happen if we stopped throwing extravagant birthday parties for one-year-olds. I don’t know a single one-year-old that had any awareness of when or why they ‘turned one’ and what all of the hubbub was about, including my own kids. They just look at all of the gifts with little to no understanding of why multiple shiny boxes with bows have been plunked down just within their reach.
Continue reading “February 3, 2021 – Expectations”February 2, 2021 – Potluck Wedding
I’m going to take a stroll down memory lane today and share a bit about my wedding. It took place on a warm summer’s day in June (34 years ago) and came together on a shoestring budget. Many brides-to-be spare no expense for the big day but I’m a practical gal, so whenever there was an opportunity to save a few bucks, I took it (along with my mother who was coordinating the whole thing). From the flowers to the photographer to the wedding dress, if it could be done ‘cheaper’ or ‘for free’, it was. My mom is the ‘queen of bargains’ and she has taught me well. I don’t even consider purchasing an item until I take a look at the price tag first and if it’s not reasonably priced or marked down to next-to-nothing, I don’t even waste my time. There is so much involved in a wedding that if you’re not careful, you can find yourself in a world of debt. But it doesn’t have to be that way, there are ways around spending thousands of dollars on an event that lasts a single day.
Continue reading “February 2, 2021 – Potluck Wedding”
